Christmas Blues
by BloodFromTheThorn
Summary: Tony didn't get lonely. A somewhat belated Christmas story/study of Tony.


Tony Stark didn't get lonely. He had always been fine keeping his own company, preferred it even to spending time at wild parties with people whose names he didn't know. Despite the face he put on for the media, he actually didn't like _people _all that much.

There were exceptions of course, the select few who had slipped past his guard and buried themselves in his heart: Pepper and Rhodey to begin with and then later the Avengers - Bruce especially. And yet here he was, sat alone in his penthouse, slowly drowning himself in a bottle of scotch because despite everything, he _missed _them.

Everyone always said that Christmas was a time for families to be together, to enjoy each other's company but it seemed that such traditions didn't apply to the billionaire.

Steve had taken off at the beginning of December with some excuse of finding Peggy for the holidays - Tony decided not to comment on it. Clint and Natasha had vanished without a word; Fury later told them that he'd given them some well deserved 'time off' or as close as master spies could get - a quick poke through S.H.I.E.L.D's files told Tony that they'd been sent to observe some politician in the Bahamas. Thor had been in Asgard up until a few days ago but on his return had decided to stay with 'his lady Jane' at her request. Stark couldn't bring himself to fault the demigod.

Bruce? He had declared that he didn't really believe in Christmas himself but he had seemed determined to make it his person mission that every child in the world should be happy and had jetted off to the third world (in Tony's private plane, he might add) to do some aid work or some such. The billionaire had wished him well and offered him any funding he might need with a false smile plastered all over his face even while he felt his heart constricting. The doctor had just rubbed his shoulder with a comment along the lines of _'cheer up, you'll have Pepper to look after you.' _

Tony hadn't found the heart to tell them that Pepper was gone too, filled with apologies for leaving and assurances that she would be back for the new year. Her father had been quite ill for a while now and the young red head had wanted to make sure he was looked after, especially as her mother had passed away in the spring - Tony had told her to stop apologizing and leave already, it was what she wanted and he was loath to make her unhappy.

And so here he was, alone. He'd been on the phone to Rhodey for a little while - who was stationed somewhere in the middle east - but he'd been called away on War Machine business.

He laughed to himself bitterly, staring through the window at the glittering city of New York, strangely quiet for once as its residents relished the warmth and comfort of their own homes, curled in the arms of their loved ones. Once upon a time he would have scoffed at the thought and gotten back to work in his lab but this year he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Despite everything he felt abandoned. He knew he shouldn't and it was about as selfish as anyone could get but then again wasn't that what Tony Stark did? Put himself before all others?

No wonder he was alone.

But it wasn't really true and he knew it. The papers could spread all the venom they wanted, it didn't make him the self-centred rich kid they all seemed to think he was and he supposed he should take comfort from that fact.

"On the bright side Sir, you've still got me," Jarvis' british voice chimed above him, apparently aware of what was occupying his creators thoughts.

"It doesn't count if you physically can't leave J," he reminded the robot but grinned none the less.

"Even if I could, there's nowhere I'd rather be Sir." Tony paused for a moment, letting that roll over him before he smiled softly, his eyes sad.

"I know you're programmed to be nice to me but for what it's worth... Thank you for that Jarvis. I should thank you more often. You've always looked out for me."

"I don't do it for rewards or praise Sir. You made me with the capacity of emotions. I look after you because I care about you." Tony didn't have a response to that so he just smiled again, letting his head loll back against the couch he was sprawled on. The alcohol was a warm buzz in his veins and his eyelids were weighted down by a fatigue he didn't know he felt.

Where was a good villain when you needed one? What he wouldn't give to go a few rounds with a doombot right about now; it would be the perfect cure to his unusual glumness.

"Any reports of criminal activity Jarvis?"

"Nothing that would warrant an appearance from Iron Man, especially when Miss Potts asked you to stay out of trouble in her absence."

"Can we not mention Pepper right now?"

"Apologies Sir."

"What projects am I working on at the moment?" He asked after another few moments of empty silence. He hadn't known that he'd ever miss the noise of people around him, the space it left awkward and uncomfortable.

"The last time you were in the lab Sir you were working on upgrading the engines of the quinjets. Before that you were trying to find a way of lightening the Mark VIII." Tony considered briefly.

"Load up the quinjet plans. They can be a Christmas present for our beloved director."

"Of course Sir."

Despite his melancholy, it didn't take long for the genius to lose himself in schematics and algorithms, reality fading away into the corners of the room. It didn't matter that his friends weren't there, he had everything he needed, from the soft whirring of Dummy to Jarvis' continuous commentary.

It wasn't perfect but it was still home.

* * *

_I couldn't think of a way to end this happily. Sorry. It's also a little late for Christmas, oops. This was really just proof that I haven't died. Sorry I've been gone for so long. _


End file.
